Sunday, February 05, 2006
~ 11:08 AM ~
My heart has harden for Christ Jesus already, so it won't be so easily for me to backslide Him or even attempt to leave His kingdom so whenever I have the intention, It's just temporary only and even if I attempt to leave God, His angel will guide me and lead me back from the lost wonderland. I tried leaving God plenty of times but each day I live, I feel so left out without feeling His love and His guidance, God is indeed allowing people to believe in Him in his/her own free will. He is a loving and patient God, He don't force people to believe in Him nor tempt people just like the retardirt and "cum lan" Satan. When you have Christ Jesus in you, you'll been protected by God divine power, avoid committed sins and surely the devil will do many foolish things to tempt you and make you scare, panic, worried and etc. Trying to corrupt you in the sense and whilst on the other hand, when you do not have Christ Jesus in you, you will feel extremely care free and have more freedom but you won't know the ten commandment and thus continue to sins. So God, I apologise for mocking your people this past few days and decided to return to your kingdom, what I want to say is I really can't live without you. After all Lord, you are God, you are above every single things on earth and heaven, I'll still require your favour every second and minute. My father passed away when I was not even a year old, He died of a stomach cancer and leave the world as a unbeliever, I'll ask for this favour from you to lift him up to your kingdom from the waiting place where every unbeliever soul is assemble and awaiting for your 2nd coming to Judge them. I was born in single parents, so I didn't know my father much, so God, bring my father to you so that during your 2nd coming, I got a chance to meet him in your kingdom. I misses him very much.
You don't see many nice people in the street but what and where you can see majority of nice and friendly people is in all Churches around the world, I'm not saying that all Christians is nice, so are bad too and also not saying that all non-Christians is bad either, what I'm trying to say is people in Churches are mostly nice. :D, so I shall not mock the nice people and act as if I'm always right.
Christ Jesus is not only my God, He's also my king, saviour, father, buddy and etc. In Churches, I treat Him as king and God as I owe to worship, respect, kneel down, honour and repent to Him. In outside Church, I treat Him as my buddy/extremely best of the best friend as wherever I was alone, He is there with me and whenever I encounter problems in life, He is there to guide me and ease my panic.
After being rejected indirectly by a girl who I admire for the past few months, I was slightly hurt but not so much, and what I trying to say is as long as the girl I like didn't backslide or even reject my Christ Jesus and continuing to love Him, I feel content already. She can rejects me but die die cannot reject my Christ Jesus. So hope she's doing fine and continue to bless her oh God.
I understand when you want something but you don't apply with effort to get it, It's useless of you to even pray for it, something like God wants to help you but you don't help yourself. It's pointless isn't it?
Hai~, Still missing her and think of her whenever I was doing nothing and at night ready to fall asleep, although I still crush on her but couldn't be too sure that is she the right girl for me. Let God decide on this issue for me.
Each time when I feel scare or angry over minor issue, I must think that the devil is trying to steal me away from God and also God may have test me whether am I strong enough to be his elite. He could allow the devil to come and tempt me with evil intention without His blessing and see am I strong enough to resist it. I must tell myself that every temptation or negative is just temporary and I must learn to beat it.
