I had a dreams in life since I was in secondary 3 which is to become a Movies Director, my passion for Movies started when I watch a film, "The eye". Then slowly, I beginning to watch many asian and western films, friends' got nothing better to do at home so they ask me out for Movies, day by day I then become a Movies buff.

In the late 2003, Movies from Hollywood organise courses in Singapore held at Suntec City Convention Hall, I was so excited as my dreams was about to come true, I eagerly wanting to take up courses as it offer "Film production", "Film directing", "Graphics motion picture", "Film editing" and too many to name. Most of the course are above $400, I don't such money for that so I approach my family members to offer me money to take up the course and eventually they did, It was a 2 weeks course and I take up "Film production", manage to learn a lot about Movies making stuff, sad to say, basically it was all theory and not practical. But I find learning isn't enough for me as 2 weeks is very short period.
The following year, I enrol myself in a private arts institutions, "Lasalle.sia College of the arts", it was a foundation year which teaches basic art making, painting, sculpture making, drawing but that doesn't interest me at all, all those stuff which had to be done on first year and then get to choose the course you want on the second year, I didn't know in the beginning as I assume when I enrol in the school, instantly I could choose the course I wanted. I didn't put in enough effort for the first year, when during group project, I wasn't that cooperative, not to mention I was slacking whilst my groupmate is doing it. Haha, feel a little regret now and I could imagine my classmate doesn't like to associate with me.
Something is missing through out the entire of my life which is God, I tell everyone I'm a Christian and when they come to ask me about Christianity stuff, I can't answer them or I utterly words which is untrue. I didn't pay attention to God, never go church and never touch the bible even a single page, can say that I'm no different from being a non-Christian. When I was not with God, God is also not with me. I felt so lonely during the days in Lasalle, I barely smile when talk to people. In school, I hang around with surface of people and everyday stick to the same group. Goes to and back from school, always alone. At the end of first year, a letter send to me saying that I failed my art theory by just only a couple of marks to the passing grade and also say that I couldn't progress to the second year. Nervously, I seek advice from all my friend whether to repeat all over again the first year and spend 3k or drop out from the school and go army. Many ask me to repeat but I feel what's the purpose, I do not want to waste my parents money so after advice by my friend, I decided to drop out. After facing so many obstacle and despression which nearly killed my last breath and die, I decided to follow God and ask Him to help me lead my life into a better one.

I like acting, I even take part in Mediacorp assignment as an extras before. I remember a scence whereby I was being cast as a policeman and give chase to a main lead "Lee nangxin" in the show of "Missing 20 days" at the slope near Orchard Mrt, wasn't sure when are they going to broadcast. The director then ask me to shouted "Police" in chinese and then run pass the camera as it's wants to focus their shoot on me. People surrounded us and watch me perform free watch, Haha! The memory was unforgettable, truly love the day.
Not only the show, I play many different role in many difference shows such as waiter, clubber, nurse, audience, passer-by, detective, student. Work there for half a year as a temporary part time job.

Last night, a group of my Malay biker friend and I went to JB bike shop to upgrade our bike, some of us only. As Malaysia things is much cheaper than Singapore. And this time there are 6 biker which includes me (the only Chinese), well, all of them are local Malay Muslims and are quite friendly too, we wait for one another when either of us are out of the sight, this is the attitude I like, wait for one another regardless of who is slow and who is fast. Sometimes I was wondering how great will it be when all the Malays' believe in Christ Jesus, I always want to outreach to them but always felt so discourage and afraid that they might be offended and hold grudges against me. But no matter what the threat, I'm willing to give it a try, perhaps this is the task given to me by God, to outreach the biker.
After upgrading our bike at the bike shop in JB, we went to petrol station to refill our petrol, and again, it was quite cheap compare to Singapore, half price of it. So after everything is done at JB, we head back to Singapore, there was a checkpoint where the police officer was asked to check our body and surrender for any illegal stuff and those who has a box at the bike, was ask to open it, they then raid everything in it. It was jam at the checkpoint, Malaysian and Singaporean biker were squeezing one another and knock each other bike without even a apology, some even horn for nothing. Those Malaysian biker were mostly uncle as they come to Singapore and work. I guess the envoirnment wasn't very good and the people in Malaysia wasn't really that friendly that's why it cause anger to one another. I was rather merely nervous as my bike was slightly long and huge, and those Malaysian biker repeatly knock onto my bike, I kept myself in a silent prayer to God and seek for Him to get me out of the squeezing zone.

The next day, I was ask to do survey at Balestier ITE by my care leader, "Jeyaraj" and tag along side with, "Jonathan", "Wilton" and "David", this time was a huge group to do evanglism and I was rather no mood to do as we are quite a number of people and we were busying chatting other stuff rather than concentrate on our mission, so basically we are having fun, I would prefer a group of at least 3 people or less. Whilst at the evanglism, I keep feeling thirsty and seeking for drinks within half an hour and legs beginning to feel tired, a little dizzy too. Then all out of blue, a fresh and a unforgettable sentences flash across my mind which is, as we the believer of Christ and as a Christian, Jesus came into this world and was being mock, insult, abuse, crucified and died, but did He complain? and when he was resurrected and proceed to the Heaven, did he curse or punish those who killed Him? all these suddenly flash across my mind and suddenly I was motivated and feel on form.

Later at the evening, I receive a call from my Malay biker friend saying that he wants to go riding and was bored at home, so I came straight away after finishing playing badminton with my friend. There are 3 of us, we had no idea on where to go as we have explore almost all part in Singapore, I suggest going to Changi Village as I want to consume my favourite indian food "Thosai" and at the meantime to look out for "She-male". My friend disagree with the idea as it will be quite a long journey there and doesn't wish to waste resources, so he decided to go to Jalan Kayu instead and we agree. At the moment we reach there, 1 of us forgotten to bring money out and I got only $3 in my pocket, just enough for a prata and a drink, all of us was bored and moody just because of this trivial issue, but we didn't unleash anger with one another, so lastly, we went home straight with each of us goes to individual direction.

Wow, time indeed flies fast, next week would be my enlistment day already, haha! which means 2 years of living in a guys world and my second home. Yeah! really looking forward for it as I expect myself to learn a lot of things there.

I'm weak, I'm at lost and I'm uncontrollable of myself, Oh God! What has happen to me?
This afternoon, my Church held a meeting at Cuppage Plaza level 5 just beside the toilet, weird huh? The unit leader assemble all believer in a room and which includes me. During the meeting when we praise and worship God, already I feel the devil is tempting and attacking me, make me lust girls and cause hatred to my brothers when they joke with me. Not only in the meeting, at the service too, the devil distract me from praising God and make me feel tired during the sermon. Totally no mood today (25.2.2006). When I moody or sad, I will keep everything inside my heart and stood silent like a statue. Sigh~, Damn! what is this? What am I doing? Is God testing my faith and loyalty to Him?
If God were to grant me a wish, I would gladly tell Him one thing which is to destroy my feelings. If my feelings is destroy, I'm totally free from depression and disappointment. Might sound stupid but everytime I see couple in my unit, the envious in my heart and mind get worked up! I feel so jealous, I tell myself and ask God why am I not the one? Each time when I ride bike and stopped in a red light, many vehicles will stop beside me and when I look around me, all I see is couples, boyfriend drive girlfriend from home in the front seat of the car. I wondering when will it be my turn? ride a girlfriend in a bike? I doesn't have this feelings at the beginning of this month, I'm totally free from those stuff, what on earth has all this comes to me? Could anyone wake up to my sense? Something bothering me and I could feel the devil is summoning me.

I had a chat with my Malay friend who I know through secondary school under his void deck in Yishun a few days ago, we chat on our daily life and share one another stories, he once told me that he is single since he came into this world and had been seeking for relationship over online, friend's introduce and anything he would do in order to get himself into bgr (Boys' Girls' Relationship) world. I reply to his story, "so what if you get yourself attach over such material which you just mention? Nowadays youngster puberty just reach, they tend to do something which only adulthood would do and seeking to try it out. Not to mention, they got nothing better to do and out there seeking fun, boys and girls in their youth whilst they are on their way for maturity. And also, if you want a everlasting relationship, I would strongly urge you to wait as patients play a major role in life. Majority of people having a girlfriend now, break up and then in the end married someone else, only a handful of couples ultimately married each other. It's the reality in this world. Everyone go through the same process, it's standard."
We are imperfect, we committed sins everynow and there without failed. What we do always unsatifisy to one another, you are good but I'm great! Because of this circumstances, fight occur.
I see people littering, the rubbish bin is just only 10m away from him, what he do is just throw the tissue paper on the ground, too lazy to even walk towards the bin and dump it.
I got a friend who's in his late 20s, supposedly to be using adult ez-link while travel on public transport, he then uses his younger sister children ez-link for travelling. People cheat, steal things, everyone as long as you are human, we are always imperfect.
Why are we imperfect? because sin engaged us as due to the fact of the devil tempted the beginning of mankind "Adam" & "Eve", with that, crimes like, murder, stealing, rape, lie, anger comes.
So Ladies and Gentlemen, I offer you one answer, you can be perfect when you die and without the need of facing judgement and proceed to Heaven instantly is to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour wholeheartedly.

It was the 2nd day of evanglism, this time was at Bishan ITE, Pear and Jonathan tag along with me, manage to get lots of people to do the survey, only a few rejected us. It was a bad start as I go there by bike, whilst on the way, rain started to get heavily second by second and I get drenched instantly. I have to park by bike at the side and seek for shelter. After a few minutes later, rain started to lower down and I took the chance to ride my bike and quickly get to Jonthan house but again the rain came again, the same things happen, park my bike and look for shelter. Indeed a bad start! Mood wasn't very good either as I was doing survey with the students with my wet pants. We approach most girls in that school as more than 75% were females, I have to brace all my courage to approach as it's been quite some time since I approach them. The lastest was few months back when my friend and I went to clubbing.

Majority of my friend had gone to army already and I was eager to go as well, was thinking tomorrow was my enlistment day as I have been physically prepare for tough trainning there.

I had a task from God which is to evanglise to people, went with Jey today to Balestier ITE to do survey with the students there, it's been quite some time since I was trained to approach people when I was in secondary 2, during that time I work as a salesman dress in suit, selling purfurme, belt and watches.
Jey and I were standing outside the school main entrance for a couple of minutes and manage to capture a several of targets, they willingly to do survey with a smile and cheerful manner, some even rushing for time and rejected us in a polite way. Have a wonderful day! We stopped halfway as Jey was thirsty, we went inside the school and have a drink, the moment I saw the food was delicious, I immediately go and grab a quick lunch.
Moments later, Jonathan joined us in our mission but he didn't do much as he was busying chatting with his friend. So Jey and I continue in our task by approaching people to do survey both inside and outside the premises. I get at least 4 survey done while Jey 8 I guess and we called it a stop as he is tired and we went home straight after that.
Reach home in the afternoon and receive a message from Joseph saying that he wanted to meet me and as well as Jean, I return a message to Jean by asking her whether could Joseph tag along? She agrees, so I travel down to Bishan taxi stand to pick Joseph up from my bike, pass through CTE and head down to Orchard as Jean wanted to purchase a storybook there.
In the evening, I send Joseph to Cedric house at Ang Mo Kio, I exit halfway at the expressway towards Ang Mo Kio Ave 3, pass through the Industry Park 2 and I immediately know I go to the wrong way, I instantly go straight in hoping to find back Ang Mo Kio Ave something but to my disappointment the straight path leads me to Hougang and then Upper Serangoon. Whilst riding, I was seeking for signboard and hoping that some arrow leads me back to Ang Mo Kio but instead it's lead me to even furthur, Punggol and then Paya Lebar Road. But God draw himself into the picture while I called for Him in my silent prayer, suddenly I feel so much confidance in riding, turning without any hestiation. He prompted me not to be panic and feel scare, keep going straight and you find the way, and suddenly I see a signboard that leads me to Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 from Serangoon Shopping Centre. Being going round and round Hougang for the past 15 minutes, Joseph was enjoying the wind without the need of worrying anything while I was having the hard time seeking back to where I wanted to go.
During riding, people always say when you want to ride bike, be prepare to die! When Car and Bike collide together, the biker will receive more damage double times than the driver. More than 80% the biker will die when in the high speed while the driver suffer only some scratches or minor bruise. Wondering what if I really die on the road, already have this thought and have been mentally prepared! God can take me back anytime.

I went to my grandmother house yesterday to visit her for the last time before I was enlisted to army I suppose. She gave me $60 packed in an ang bao as a farewell gifts.
Whilst at my grandmother house, 2 of my favourite sweetie female cousins return home from school, they were "Tay Ru Ting Rachel" & "Au Bi En", both of them were in primary 1 and happen to be in the same year. They were born in the year of 1999 (The year of Rabbit), Rachel is a Catholic and Bi En Buddhist. Rachel is intelligent, she knows from A-Z and 1-100 even before she started education in Kindergarden 1 whilst Bi En is so cute with a sweet voice and loves to disturb people unknownly. Haha, Love them so much, they were so adorable and cute. The moment when they reach home, they make excessive noise and even ask me to play hide and seek with them and as I loves them, I agree without hesitation.
The history of my grandmother, She was the 2nd wife of my grandfather, She was a devoted Buddhist and she gave birth to 8th children, 1 of them passed away while giving birth. So there are 4 females and 3 males. Right now they are my Auntie and Uncle, Each of them gave birth to at least 3 children or slightly more. So I got more than 20 cousins altogether, but sad to say that, all of them was a Buddhist and none is a Christians. Excluding me, I was 1/20+ Christianity. Imagine the population among us 1% Christians while 90% Buddhist. But also a heart breaking news is some of my cousins is either from BB (Boys' Bridge) or GB (Girls' Bridge) a Christian uniform groups in Secondary School. They are only 1 more step towards the goal of being a follower of Christ and only sad to say that my Auntie and Uncle oppose them. I wondering what's wrong being a Christian, a religion which cause no harm, a sociable religion which contain tons of nice and mature people. Some even curse and forsake Christianity. It's truly a miserable news.

That's it! Yes! All right, perfect! Finally, I'm done with the Water Baptism ceremony held at East Coast Park, Big Splash. This day I have been waited high and low for it and I got it through GOD almighty power. If weren't for his act, I would have been now at genting highlands and can't celebrate this grand day of mine already. "James" has died and "Jimmy" has been rebirth into this centuries. "James" was an impatient guy in the past, easily anger and desperate for relationship. And now it was replaced by "Jimmy", he will overcome "James" weaknesses with an patient guy, slow to anger and quick to joy and only desperate for God and nothing else.
So happy for this day, God is with me! He organise this event for me for a special purpose. I have been serving Him for more than 5 years already, during that duration, I was an on and off going, backslide Him, forsake Him and then returns to Him and He is so patient with me. Love ya Jesus! Truly man! I'm related to you now.
Now, I would like to shout it out loud with a big thank you to those who encourage me during the Baptism.
"Jonathan Chua" (My current shepherd), "Ace Veronica" (My current Care Leader), "Jean" (My sheepmate), "Cedric" (My ex-shepherd), "Desmond" (My sheepmate). "Abigail" (My Unit Leader) and of course many more who are there to witness my baptism.

Sometimes I am wondering, God indeed has a perfect plan for everyone. He made a number of people who has a passion for music to serve Him and made them to specialist in it, some to Multimedia,and some to films making and etc. And God made me as a biker, I guess God is using me to preach out those biker on the road perhaps? Haha!

I just purchase 2 vcds from a shop at Northpoint Shopping Centre, there are "Kingdom Of Heaven" a religion war between Christians & Muslims and "Fanastic 4" more on computer graphics and action pack. Wanted to buy them very long time ago and finally I got them, got films to watch already, feeling so glad. The total price of the two Vcds was $24.80, and I paid $25. I didn't realize I was been short change for $0.10 whilst on my way home.
Next, I wanted to buy "The Exorcism of Emily Rose", it's a Christianity woman who has been possess by the evil spirit and God trying His utmost to save her. Looks interesting, gonna buy!

A couple of weeks ago, in fact a month ago, I was in the Church hearing sermon preach by Jasmine Poon, She says that, "God created us because He wants to relate with us." After hearing this sentences, something flash across my mind that I must made God proud of me. After all, He made me, gave me life and created me normal instead of less fortunate people or handicap, I should be thankful enough.

Approximately 2 and a half weeks more to go for officially enlistment to NS (National Service), can't wait for it because I feel to slacking enough at home and quite sick of being civilian, wondering how's life in army and also wondering who is going to miss me. Haha! But anyway, after going to NS, I wants to stop contacting with the outside world forever and ever. Shall bring army as my 2nd home.
Actually I'm quite a loner, not a long of people will know, deep inside my heart, no one understands. Have confess to a girl who I like quite deeply, everytime I saw a pretty babe in the street, I immediately think of her and focus that she's my dream girl, the most perfect and beautiful partner of mine. Then instantly she replied my sms exclamining that, "I don't want to give you false hope and don't waste your time on me." Sigh, how many people is going to reject me I wonder? It is indeed true that "ai ren shi tong kua and bei ai shi xin fu" (Loving someone is suffering while being love is fortunate). But I think I'm destiny to lead this sorrowful world myself, I'll carry this burden and depression alone. Seems like girls wants a relationship is much more easier than guys. Haha, had the intention of seeking for a gay Church. Everytime I get to know a girl too close, understand her so much and always thought that I stand a chance upon her but to my misery, she only treat me as close friend and nothing more, everytime tio reject or hurt! The feelings is so sucks. Hai, can be a gay then be lor, no point being straight when people keep rejecting you. Next time don't get too close with girls', just Hi and Bye friends perhaps?

Last night, My friend and I went to JB (Johor Bahru) to top up his petrol after he just bought his bike from a bike shop in Jurong East just directly behind IMM. My main purpose is just to accompany him only and also go out of S'pore for the 2nd time in my life ever since I went there when I was in primary 5. We went by BKE and took only 10 mins or less to reach the checkpoint of both Singapore & Malaysia. Upon reaching there, my friend got nearly hit by a several of vehicles that zoom past him, and he got nearly fall off from his motorcycle when coming to a sharp bend. I got so worried and scare by him so I stopped half way in the expressway and quickly ran and attend to him. I was only with him during the trip, If wasn't there with him, I dare not imagine what will happen to him when he fall.
So, we pass by 2 check point, there are a lot of biker not to mention going there to refill their petrol, we waited quite long for our turn to submit our passport and then move on. During our arrival of Malaysia, the scene and environment was nothing much compare to Singapore, the feeling is the same. Perhaps the people I suppose, in S'pore & Malaysia, you see faces, surroundings, buildings are alike. So perhaps I don't get to feel the differences. The road in Malaysia is so uneven, got hole in the middle, you have to dodge with your riding skills. I follow my friend to the petrol station very closely from behind as I wants to take care of him. I knew JB is the hot spot for robbery and criminal offence so my friend wanted to quickly refill his petrol and return to S'pore quickly so I did.
Upon reaching S'pore, My friend and I decided to have a supper at sembawang coffee shop located a few metres away from sembawang Mrt Station. When we reach there, he was stopped by a police van, the policeman then alight from his vehicles and begin to ask for his particular and even question him for no reasons, so unreasonable police I ever met. The police even doubt that my friend bought his bike even though he exclaim. So he ask him for his license, they even ask us what we do in the middle of the night, where we stay, are we still schooling, how much you buy the bike la, etc. After that, the police procceed to me, ask for my particular. What a "night" man!

A few of my Malay biker friend and I went to spin the wind around S'pore road last night, all of them was my secondary school friend, there are 3 Malays and include me, the only Chinese. All of them were communicating in Malay and I understand that they have to take the trouble to translate for me in order to allow me to know what's going on in their conversation and how I wish I understands Malay. If I do, there will be more lots of fun man! All of us went to Changi Beach last night to scroll around the area and undoubtly and expected, couples were romancing, I against the idea of going there actually but all my Malay friends want to go there so no choice I have to force myself to go also and this made me realize that sometime you don't wish to go but force yourself to something good will happen. Whilst at the beach, the sea was shine directly under the moon, the effect of the light was extremely beautiful, only a portion of the sea was shine brightly and the rest is dark, It was a perfect scence for the couples, and the feelings was like in heaven. And after that, we proceed to Changi Airport, we pass by a long stretch of road towards TPE and beside us while we were travelling, the aeroplane was getting ready to set off from the ground, my friend alert me when I was concentrate on riding and the plane fly off with chaos, the engine was loud it was extremely huge and fly very fast and smoothly. We also saw the plane landing from the sky, the timing was perfect and what a night I must say, and thus makes me eager to take a plane and went for holiday if I have the money.

A couple of days ago, My friends and I return to OCH (Old Changi Hospital) for the very last time in our life I suppose. This time we are fully equipped with torch lights and camera, the 4 of us went in daring and explore the abandon buildings. The highest storey was 7th and sad to say that almost all the room/ward was empty only left with the furniture, cabinet and drawer. It was empty I guess as we didn't want to a busybody and touch it. On the highest storey, there was a room which is a torture chamber and the walls around the corner was black, It has been badly burnt before by the Japanese soldiers' I guess and I could imagine the people at the hospital was burnt alive or even jump down from the storey, I couldn't be exact but I can only make a wild guesses. There was another abandon buildings which is directly link from OCH, you could exit from the highest storey and that there is a path that leads you. I wonder what building is that, 1 of my friend said it was a former commandos trainning camp, like I say, none of us can be certain. It was guarded by security, and it left with a warning saying that "Watchman on patrol", my friends and I decided to leave the premises to avoid more trouble. After leaving, we exit the area from OCH which leads us back to where we came from and we nail a cab instantly back to Ang Mo Kio.
Upon reaching to our destination, I drive 2 of my friend back with my bike to their home, ironically, 2 of them were a rich guy as both of them were living in a semi-detached, this made me wondering, since they were so rich that they could live in such a home, why aren't they own a transport? Haha, after that I return home to my HDB flat.

Nowadays I really have to declare bankrupt already, sad to say, all my ang bao money mostly spend on bike stuff such as the parking seasons, helmet, petrol and etc. Going to be broke but anyway, money isn't a priority to everything, I still can survive without money.

A couple of months back, I always took a train to Fortune Centre to claim my pay as I work for Mediacorp drama as an extras and the agent was link to them, whenever they need people for filming, the agent would called me for Mediacorp assignment. So I went there twice a week, that place was located near Bugis Mrt, ten minutes walk to the place. I pass by the famous Chinese Temple, opposite a multi storey coffee shop, those people there burn joss sticks, praying to the sky, some knee down and I don't know why is sky deserve to be worship about? Mostly were praying to buddha, worshipping idol, etc and a couple of monks there too. I frown as I kept telling myself those people are doing a wrong things and yet they didn't realize it. I wondering how great will it be when the world worship Christ Jesus as god, there will be peace I guarantee.

Sigh~, I think I cannot go for service and Water Baptism this week, I waited so long for it and something stops me. My elder brother bought a ticket for the entire family outing to genting highlands this weekend as the main purpose is he wants me to enjoy before going to army, I really appreciate for his effort as I told him that this weekend I am occupy and not free and would be pleased if he changed the date, he yell back at me saying that I organise this outing especially for you and yet I wants to put his effort in vain. He really don't understands me, so we quarrel and almost got into a fight but my mother comes to a stop between us. My brother and I fight since we was young, so it wouldn't be surprise if we fight all out of blue at anywhere else. So this weekend, he will bring his girlfriend along and together with his friends and girlfriend, so total there are 2 pair of couples whilst I alone without any girl to tag with. I must understand, my elder brother treated me so good as he doted on me a lot, he gave me a bike, teaches me what he knows, basic manner and without him I dare not imagine what will I be today. But anyway, I guess I have no other choice but to wait for the next baptism day. Sign up the form already and didn't turn up, wondering what will the Church do to me?

It was a awesome day last night, and overjoy unforgettable memories. 1 of my circus of friend "Wong Chun How Seraphy" aka Ah Ho is somehow devote himself to Christ Jesus. Really see so much change in him ever since i knew him in the early 2001. During that time, he was hot temper, loves to complain whatever that doesn't suits to his satisfication but after he get to know Christ, his life has been fully transform. Saw him donate his money when the offering takes place, and even prayed in silence in his eyes close. Truly felt so happy for him. He is a new believer, I guess his faith in Christ isn't that strong but I wants to strengthen him and will pay more attention to him until he is baptise.
Speaking about baptise, I had finally filled up the application form for water baptise next sunday held at East Coast Park. And that's one more week to go and I'll be living part of Christ Jesus lives. I decided to gave myself a bap name, "Jimmy". This name will take effect after the baptism day.

Appromixately 3 and a half weeks to go for my soldier life, excited but a little can't bear to leave my Church for a several of weeks, really can't imagine what will it be without sermon, praise and worship and nice bro/sis be with me. Have calculated that I can only attend service for around 4 times but whatever the circumstances, I wish Hope Church continue to grow and the people there to stand firm. Amen!

I told myself that I wants to behave in Godly ways via attitude, whilst Jesus was in this earth, He receives evil temptation, torture, insult, physical damage and etc. Not to mention, everything he does for us is all for our own good and yet we still rebel and sins against Him, somemore those damage done to Him is His own creation. Mainly is the devil's work I suppose.
When comes to me, an insulted or cold jokes by my friend/bro in Christ or anyone, I tend to hold grudges against them. What is wrong with me I wonder? I wants to behave in Jesus manner no matter what the peril holds, storm in the sea whilst in the boat or even trapped alone in the dark. All of those circumstances I mention, Jesus attitude shall applies to me.

All these years since I was on this earth, the devil has been tearing me apart such as associate me into secret society when I was in high school, lust strongly for any hot babe in the street, get angry easily over a minor issue, hot temper and etc. All these, I shall overcome in Jesus name. I'll seek and yield to Him. What I wants to tell Satan and his minions that, "I LOVE JESUS CHRIST" I will bow to Him and accepted Him. I wants to tell satan that Jesus is only the true God, evanglism to people, strengthen the new believer faith and last but not least, and I can't wait to see Satan and his minions' cry like a baby and scream like a girl being raped at the 2nd coming of almighty Jesus when He dump all of them into the lake of fire. They will then being destroyed completely and beg Jesus under His feet and say, "Oh God, please help me! my ass hurts."

Wow, time really flies! Exactly 1 more month to go and I'll be officially in becoming a soldier for 2 years. Really can't wait for some tough physical workup as I'm ready for you (ARMY). And when I been enlisted, I tell myself that I would want to lead into a army life and lost contact from the outside world, I wants to fully concentrate on a soldier with no interfere from anywhere. There are some things I like about army is I can receive allowance from government, I will then save up and return to school. Trainning like what I did in my secondary school P.E, it's been 3 years since I graduated there. Having the experiment of guns battle with enemies and short range combat. And lastly, an adventure outing and sleep in jungle.

On 19th Feb, there will be a water baptism organise by my Church, am looking forward to the event as I wanted to baptise before I join the army and also I wants to be part of Jesus Christ. Have always been receiving too many temptation over the past few years such as angry over a trivial matter, impatient, easily jealous & envy and love to scold vulgarities. I do change a lot after the Holy Baptise early this year at the Ministry House, next is Water Baptise, I'm coming to you!

Went to OCH (Old Changi Hospital) last night with a several of my friends to explore the mysterious of an left untouched building since the end of the Second World War II which is exactly more than 70 years of rich history. Japanese Troops storm this building and decimated all wounded soldiers'/nurses'/doctors' when seen. This abandon building was filled with darkness, you couldn't even see a thing when entering. Everywhere is dark, you can somehow imagining things which is not bound to imagine and the place was very empty, debris everywhere in the corner. There's a rumor, government intended to demolish the building but was stopped by the evil spirits there, for instance, the bull dozer, forklift and all kinds of machinery stuff attempting to destroy it but the material spoilt itself instead. My friends and I explore only the 1st storey of the building but didn't manage to explore all due to one of our friend behave mischeviously in attempting to break apart the tighten locked door with a chain but failed miserably. We called off our trip in less than 10 minutes and went straight home, after all, It was truly an disappointment outing. But anyway, was looking forward for more exciting one in the next outing.

Exactly 1 month and 3 days remaining to be officially enlisted in becoming a soldier of S'pore and also a warrior of Christ Jesus whereby I armed with a weapon and fight, carries guns into battlefield. Grew up from fighting background, and too addictive of action and war movies already so I guess army is a place which suits me most. But I tell myself that If Singapore were to be threaten by any country, I'll be the first to storm out from my camp, equip with a rifles and rush to my church to defend my Bro & Sis in Christ, especially the girl who I like. I'm willing to die for them and especially her. I AM A SOLDIER!

On earth, God created us to be here for a certain period of time then all who believes in Him shall proceed to the next step which is Heaven for rejoices eternity. If you feel your life is unhappy and unsatisfication, have this positive mindset that it's all temporary. Once our messiah return with a huge impact, our suffering/loneliness/misery/etc shall all be rid. We'll stay in Heaven till the rest of our days together as one unity in Christ Body. So don't compare temporary to eternity yeah? cheers. :-)

Secondly, what I want to comment is my Bro & Sis in Christ...
Here it goes,
"Jonathan Chua" aka BJ is one of my closer friend/bro in Church, he is the most funniest person I ever met, really creative in cracking jokes to people so whenever I was outing with him, I don't feel bored, feel so fun and enjoyable being his friends. Always never failed to burst out laughing when he spill something silly from his mouth, watch the Hope Church Royal Rumble on a video in gender camp last year, everybody was fighting on a huge mattress and all was laughing and smiling all the way, didn't truly enjoy watching until Jonathan emerge in the fight. This dude was indeed serious as I guess he don't like to smile a lot that's why, he fight was as if a real fight and do many style of wrestling moves, truly put up a great show for us as the audience otherwise I dare not imagine how bored the show was without him. He is also generous in the sense of buying people meal without even demanding for a return. And he always love to disturbed me all out of blue like staring at me for nothing as if I owe him something never return and also slap me and make me fly to a few inches away to where I was standing.
"Mei Hwa" aka Abigail is our Dians UL (Unit Leader), She is the most patient lady I must confess, although she's our lady boss in other sense, a high ranking position which is also taking care of us as the sheep, if one of us left all out of suddenly, the depression underneath her heart sink deeply I could imagine. Her main objective is to evanglism to people who doesn't have a chance to come and know the true God among all religion which is Jesus Christ, and sad to see or hear that people rejecting her repeatly and only a handful of people remains under the care of Jesus. This is what I truly admire her character, "patient" plays a major role in life I guess, and now I could see many people respect her. Keep up the good work, Lead us in the race and never stop us from stopping the run.
"Veronica Tay" aka ace is my unit care leader, she's a good leader, always equipped with a smile wherever she goes and even I talk nonsense, she laugh and always smile. What a cheerful lady indeed! Although her organisation of event wasn't smooth and I somehow dislike it, she at least try her utmost and God ever did tell me that never judge anyone and let Him control everything under his power. She's also very encouraging and loves to be someone listener instead of someone be her listener.
"Stanley" aka ??? is a tall and muscular guy to my view, can really beat someone up to death or even hospitalized when a volcano erupts. His schedule isn't fix, so could manage to ask him out in the middle of the night to spin the wind in the road, he's also a generous person, willingly to share good things with his friend and never demand for a return. Heard that he was a secret society in the past and both of us shared the same situation. Heard of his history, it's quite sad also, why? I should not elaborate. Truly thanks God for his act.
"Jingmin" aka Elizabeth is a care leader in her group, she's like a mother to my view, each time when a new believer comes to a church, she take extremely good care of that person like a friendly physical contact on a back or shoulder, gave a caring hug and be willing to listen other's sorrowful journal. Could really imagine she can be a caring and a nice mother in future. Perhaps her son/daughter will be a good children due to her disciplinary towards her sheep. Haha!
"Wan Jun" aka Jean is the youngest among the dians, creative in arts and also intelligence in her academic. Remember when she drew an outstanding artwork to me on Christmas day last year, I was quite impress! I was a former arts student, when I glance at it, the jealousy in my heart starts to boil. And also, her English was fabulous, the way she constructed the sentences was smooth and perfectly well, make it easily for her reader to understand even though there are some words that require a dictionary.
*will continue when someone I can think of...

My heart has harden for Christ Jesus already, so it won't be so easily for me to backslide Him or even attempt to leave His kingdom so whenever I have the intention, It's just temporary only and even if I attempt to leave God, His angel will guide me and lead me back from the lost wonderland. I tried leaving God plenty of times but each day I live, I feel so left out without feeling His love and His guidance, God is indeed allowing people to believe in Him in his/her own free will. He is a loving and patient God, He don't force people to believe in Him nor tempt people just like the retardirt and "cum lan" Satan. When you have Christ Jesus in you, you'll been protected by God divine power, avoid committed sins and surely the devil will do many foolish things to tempt you and make you scare, panic, worried and etc. Trying to corrupt you in the sense and whilst on the other hand, when you do not have Christ Jesus in you, you will feel extremely care free and have more freedom but you won't know the ten commandment and thus continue to sins. So God, I apologise for mocking your people this past few days and decided to return to your kingdom, what I want to say is I really can't live without you. After all Lord, you are God, you are above every single things on earth and heaven, I'll still require your favour every second and minute. My father passed away when I was not even a year old, He died of a stomach cancer and leave the world as a unbeliever, I'll ask for this favour from you to lift him up to your kingdom from the waiting place where every unbeliever soul is assemble and awaiting for your 2nd coming to Judge them. I was born in single parents, so I didn't know my father much, so God, bring my father to you so that during your 2nd coming, I got a chance to meet him in your kingdom. I misses him very much.
You don't see many nice people in the street but what and where you can see majority of nice and friendly people is in all Churches around the world, I'm not saying that all Christians is nice, so are bad too and also not saying that all non-Christians is bad either, what I'm trying to say is people in Churches are mostly nice. :D, so I shall not mock the nice people and act as if I'm always right.
Christ Jesus is not only my God, He's also my king, saviour, father, buddy and etc. In Churches, I treat Him as king and God as I owe to worship, respect, kneel down, honour and repent to Him. In outside Church, I treat Him as my buddy/extremely best of the best friend as wherever I was alone, He is there with me and whenever I encounter problems in life, He is there to guide me and ease my panic.
After being rejected indirectly by a girl who I admire for the past few months, I was slightly hurt but not so much, and what I trying to say is as long as the girl I like didn't backslide or even reject my Christ Jesus and continuing to love Him, I feel content already. She can rejects me but die die cannot reject my Christ Jesus. So hope she's doing fine and continue to bless her oh God.
I understand when you want something but you don't apply with effort to get it, It's useless of you to even pray for it, something like God wants to help you but you don't help yourself. It's pointless isn't it?
Hai~, Still missing her and think of her whenever I was doing nothing and at night ready to fall asleep, although I still crush on her but couldn't be too sure that is she the right girl for me. Let God decide on this issue for me.
Each time when I feel scare or angry over minor issue, I must think that the devil is trying to steal me away from God and also God may have test me whether am I strong enough to be his elite. He could allow the devil to come and tempt me with evil intention without His blessing and see am I strong enough to resist it. I must tell myself that every temptation or negative is just temporary and I must learn to beat it.

Many times when riding bike along some unfamiliar places I feel scare, but I do like this kind of feeling as it could boost my resistance against fear and also gain some wisdom in S'pore road. But what I wanted to say is, there are a couple of times when a taxi or even a lorry nearly hit me from behind when I lane change and forget to change blind spot, some vehicles even nearly touch my bike tail just because I was under P-Plate? Always being bullied on the road. But God always do wonder in my life is just that I don't feel it only, If God were to bring me back to His kingdom now, I would have been killed long time ago and I believe I would die sooner or later it's just the matter of time only as I'm not faithful to Him.
But also good la, die early the better as I don't even had the chance to experience earthly love from girls. Give me a temporary one I also happy, in life I would like to try and experience everything. In the past, always I love people but they never do the same thing to me. Make use of me then got, always treated unfairly. Some girls even approach me by themselves then trying to get close with me, seek the opportunity to break up with me for another guy and make me want to fight with the fellow. But I never as I think it's quite silly to do that, always have the evil temptation.
After decided to leave my present Church, I'll lead again to my old path which I join Catholic somewhere in late 2004. Perhaps this time I go solo, worship God alone and read the bible, I prefer this lifestyle perhaps?
I do love my Brother & Sister in Christ a lot, nearly uncountable. Each time I hear people from DI or wherever say he/she wants to leave Church or even backslide, my heart sink instantly. Especially my former CL "Donnie Lim." I still respect him, his patient for me is very strong in the past whereby I kept rejecting his invitation to Church. And now I realize that having so many youths in Christian service not just to socalize but also honor God, It's just so sad to see not all are the faithful one.
Even if I come back to "Hope Church" I surely see couple, I always thought Christianity is the truthfully Brother & Sister which they choose to be single and allow themselves to be devoted to God, but somehow it's prove me extremely wrong. Isn't it makes absolutely no different from forming bgr programme like "mirc", "Friendster", "wholivesnearyou"? But then, Christianity is a live forming bgr programme.
Anyone discuss this issue with me will be ignored...
What I mention above is just temporary anger I suppose...

There are a lot of things which I'm going to voice out right here in my blogger, this is the place where I pour out my life event which contain depression & joy. Firstly, I receive a phone call today from my Malay good friend "Iqbal" claiming that he is going to buy a bike with his own savings, I'm very proud of him as he is hard working, be willing to work any kind of job to earn money, buy such a expensive machinery transport with his own money. Haha, unlike me, more than 80% is paid by my family. At least I do admit that sometimes I'm not reliable of myself but at most circumstances I am. It would be good that Iqbal has a bike now so that we can go in a group biker and conquer the road. :D
My next stories...
I consider myself as half Catholic and half Christian as due to fact that I converted into Christianity from Buddhist in the mid of millienum, and have been Churchless for more than a year, so after that my friend who is a catholic brought me to the Church in between our home, attend a few times and find it was great, cool and nice as on the whole and it suits to my satisfication, the service took only an hour, and I mean just nice an hour or sometimes even less than that. In the service, there are holy com, offering, sing praise and sermon. Attended Catholic Churches for a few months and all out of blue, a girl in the street do a survey with me, so I was kind enough to spare a few minutes and do it, that survey was mean to bring people to Churches, a good thing either. After taking the survey, she asked me to go Church which held at Cuppage Plaza directed opposite Somerset MRT, I don't mind going as I'm a Christian, so after attended a few times there, the people at the Church asking me constantly to come weekly so I did, my feeling is like a girl, soft hearted, wants to reject people but don't dare, have to hint people one, scare to hurt people feelings also.
Now, I'm planning to leave my present Church which is "Hope Church", I don't really like the way they plan events or even organise. Sometime always last minute cancel and cancel already didn't inform us, must wait until I go and ask them then I was inform. What kind of organisation is this? or should I say, what kind of attitude is the organiser, somehow feel so worked up. And also, what kind of Christian Church is that, contain so many youth? Aren't they specifically spell it out that bgr is involved indirectly among them? Look at my Church in Nexus, my institue in DI (Diploma Institution) has formed one couple already and another is about to form. What is this? No wonder people around the world has bad impression on Christianity, my doubt has finally solve now. Look at CHC (City Harvest Church), it is the most popular Church in Singapore, look at the number of youth, I guess it occupied more than 1/4 of all local teenagers' population. BGR I guess? No sense of being faithful follower of Christ. Whilst on the other hand, Catholic Church is much more peaceful compare to other Churches, It doesn't contain youth, in the sense of gathering whole bunch of youth, please God and ultimately it lead into bgr world. They don't do such thing compare to Christianity. Really, bringing a shame to their own belief, what if a new believer knows about this? Sigh, I really don't feel like going to any form of Christian Church anymore...
I still believe Jesus is true God, perhaps now I intend to return to my old self again, worship God solo. Do whatever things myself, I still prefer my past lifestyle.